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Name: limeginger
E-Mail:
Subject: Anything like this ever happen to you? (nsc)
Date: Monday, June 22, 2009
Time: 10:27:25 AM
Remote Address: 67.244.243.74
Message ID: 245336
Parent ID: 0
Thread ID: 245336

Anything like this ever happen to you? (nsc)

hey there...

this is totally off-topic but...what the heck.

has this ever happened to you?

I get one of those "People who you might know" notifications in Facebook, and it's a former boyfriend. One of the ways FB figures shit like that out is because--in this case--the former BF clearly looked for me on FB. Once someone does that FB presumes you may know the person. It's not always why people show up, but it's one of the reason. Since this particular former BF and I haven't been ion touch since Fall 2006, and we have no friends in common, and don't live in the same city, he looked me up on FB.

So, I decided to Google him and see what's new in his life. Sure enough: the book he'd been writing 2000-2006 (about which we had a zillion conversations -- my suggestions on publishing and marketing strategy, branding and packaging, franchising, precise wording of agent inquiries, connections to people in publishing, endless discussions about plot structure, character motivation, and listening to him read for literally hours) was picked up by the largest publisher in the US, as were the prequel and sequel, there will be video games based on the book, as well as a full-length feature film.

We were "involved" primarily in 2000, then again briefly later. He visited where I live now for 3-4 days in 2006 -- he asked family members to read the turgid, 500-page TOME (a giant undertaking), and we sat around talking about it. At the end of that visit -- which was mostly talking about The Book -- I told him honestly that if he didn't get in better touch with particularly his female lead character he was going to risk the characters not being accessible/relateable, being 1-dimensional. And suggested some things I probably shouldn't about trying to really understand his characters better (he got furious with me when i suggested imagining going into a room with only 2 chairs, sitting down with each main character one by one and asking them about their lives, their backgrounds -- he said "You have no dangerous these people are -- they could kill me!!!").

Also I shouldn't have said that maybe he should talk to someone (he already had an "analyst") about how intensely he needed GRAND-scale success (he said he'd most likely kill himself if he didn't get published by a major publisher and have it be MASSIVEly successful). Asked him -- even if he got all that success and approval from masses of people he didn't know -- what would crazy-big success really mean to him in terms of his self-worth. He never spoke to me again.

So....I'm not going to name him or the book. It doesn't matter. But the point is: have you ever been in a relationship or friendship with someone, and have a falling out, and they become a huge success? It feels very bittersweet to me. I'm happy as hell that his work is all over the place, and he has exactly what he envisioned and worked his ass off for, obsessively, for 6+ years. At the same time, I put in a lot of time with him -- going to the very deepest, most granular level of discussion with him about any and all aspects of his work -- and can't even enjoy a smidgeon of his happiness with him. I am persona non grata, and I suppose I just have to say what is freely given must truly be freely given.

That's all. Just wanted to share. Feeling petty a little bit, feeling ebullient that someone I know manifested such a great dream for themselves.

thanks for letting me vent...

limeginger

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